Have it your way...

My head is still try to process what just happened...

Evan and I are on our way home from the Hallmark store.
A homeless woman sitting in the rain, covered with a cardboard box and an umbrella...
I look her way, we have eye contact, and I feel for her.
I do what I always do, I want to give and make it better for her, for him or whomever.
I remind Evan that it's important to give to those who have not. They are people.
I go through Burger King and buy a hot meal and a Coke, for her.
My son wants to be a part of the giving he says, we agree to get out of the car together when we return to her corner.
I say hello, and I offer her the hot meal and Coke and she says, "Do you have a cigarette?" (This is the very reason why I never give money. I'm not contributing towards booze, smokes and drugs. I'll give clothes and food...)
When I say, "No, I don't." She shushes me away and says she doesn't want the food. I ask again to be certain she doesn't want this and again she says, "I don't want it."

I'm a lot of things. Confused, appalled, sad, amazed, surprised. I'm trying to wrap my head around this and trying to explain this to my son who's seen me do this very thing before and we've never had this reaction. I'm still trying to process this. It sort of makes me want to cry. Then I read the words on the Burger King cup, "HAVE IT YOUR WAY." And I think to myself, 'Indeed. Have it your way. I did what I could.' I'm sorry she wasn't it a place to accept what I had to offer. And still I will teach my son to be a giver.